Acromaniacs Log

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 The Internet provides us with a large database of information on pituitary disorders but most of these come from hospitals, universities and charitable trusts. Whilst this information is "good to know", It does not give the type of information that I, as an individual, need.
When doctors speak about "optimal" or "recommended" hormone levels, what should be added at the end is, "on average".
Every man is an island. Some days the water laps gently about his feet, calm and clear. Other days are spent trying to shelter from the wind and rain that is threatening to rip out the palms and drown us under a tidal wave.
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

Under normal circumstances, our bodies deal with varying conditions by altering our hormone production. Which, in turn, speeds us up or slows us down, or just levels us out so that we can get on with our daily lives.

Enter Acromegaly, hormone replacement and hell!!
I was always a bit mental prior to my diagnosis but now, well now I am more "off my head" than I have ever been.

Day one, full of beans, the sun is shining and all is well with the world.
Day two, feel like shit, everyone's a bastard and I'm living in the toilet.
Day three, Melancholy blues!
Day four, hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go.
Day five,?????
Ad-infinitum....

And no-one can see the turmoil, understand the moods or tell us what to do to keep control of the day. It's a very lonely battle.

I accept the challenge, no option, but sometimes I just wish the world would leave me alone and let me get on with it. At this present time I do not work, mostly because I am not fit enough to do the work I was trained to do. OK, on day one and day four I could manage fine, but on days two and five, I am liable to, fall out with the boss, get fired for peeing too much or run out of the place screaming blue murder.
So I sit here most of the time trying to teach myself the ways of the web in the hope that my future will be a little easier and I will be able to provide for my family without the stress of having to take my Acromegaly to work.

Getting Better

My latest test results had my consultant all but discharging me.Woo!Hoo! I'm almost cured! But wait a minute, why do I still feel so bad?

I don't know what to do now! Do I get a job? What kind of job? I served my time as a fitter and I've had jobs as a fabricator and a welder. I've worked on production lines, I've washed piles of dishes in hot, humid kitchens. I've stood with my feet in ice cutting wet neeps in draughty barns. I've crawled on my hands and knees across rocky fields picking strawberries at 4pence a pound. I've picked tatties till the pain went away, allowing me to enjoy the days out. I've chauffeured the rich, hell, I've even been on a pub crawl with a millionaire and I've groveled before women who said I should call them Ma'am

Well I'm just not fit for any of that shit any more.

I am more tired than I have ever been, more confused than I've been for a long time and I generally feel like my life's not my own. Of course it isn't any more is it? My, once pristine, state of the art volume control is now just a loose knob that refuses to settle in the right place for comfort.

But my family needs some stuff now. I've been unemployed for a few years and the finances are, well, they are completely fucked at the moment. I never have two pennies to rub together. Sometimes we do without food so the kids can eat. It sucks big time and I really need to do something about it but I don't know what.

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